| 7/11/2008 9:24:58 PM | "good guy" problems | | evlangel
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 23
| if a guy claims to be a good guy why is that such a bad thing. i mean it seems that no matter what you do, the first thing women think is this guy is either a fake or he's a non-interesting dork. why would everyone rather get cheated on than be with someone who seems to be, too good to be true.
i know that some "good" guys turn out just as bad as some of the other dogs out there but does that really ruin it for the ones who are real. or is the pain of one fake guy mean enough is enough.
i'm not mel gibson in what women want i don't want to read womens minds. i just want some understanding as to why being a decent guy whether you say you are or not, is not wanted nowadays
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| 7/11/2008 9:40:48 PM | "good guy" problems | |
stanizz
Fort Washington, MD
age: 53
| Man I was a bad boy for years, had plenty of women, had plenty of problems to. But no being a nice guy and asking girls out is just setting yourself for being stood up or at best, used for a meal and dead time killer for some. I'm still going to be a nice guy though tired of the games you play, and the lies you have to tell to be a bad boy. One day I'll find a good girl, that knows how to please a man with her charms.
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| 7/11/2008 9:59:56 PM | "good guy" problems | |
bellinghamster
Bellingham, WA
age: 27
| I think you guys are talking to the wrong "druggie" girls.
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| 7/11/2008 10:03:27 PM | "good guy" problems | |
fredricko
Pico Rivera, CA
age: 49
| thats just an excuse because they really dont want you so they say its because youre too nice its not the fact that your a good guy it just youre not the one for them,kinda like the excuse people use its me not you
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| 7/11/2008 10:03:44 PM | "good guy" problems | |
lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51
| How about if you define just what you mean by GOOD GUY??? I mean there could be a hundred and one different interpretations as to what a good guy is. So how about a little more definition whats a good guy to you????What does a good guy do that sets him apart from a bad guy????Then maybe i can answer more appropiately..
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| 7/11/2008 10:08:42 PM | "good guy" problems | |
evlangel
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 23
| well it's true that a "good" guy is not the answer to every women's needs but i know that the little things like opening up a door, actually listening, being there no matter what, honesty, things like that, why is it some women don't want that
[Edited 7/11/2008 10:09:42 PM]
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| 7/11/2008 10:12:34 PM | "good guy" problems | |
lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51
| Oh please I do truly I have gone without most of my life I love a gentleman something special when men will do things like that...MAkes one feel like a princess and to have a man spoil me not with material things but with his love and attention I would be in heaven...
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| 7/12/2008 3:25:40 AM | "good guy" problems | |
ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 42 online now!
| So often I have heard that come on line that it has virtually lost all meaning.
You can't just "dub" yourself a "good guy" and expect anyone to believe you. To me, when someone says "I'm a good guy", it tells me that they are trying to coerce me into believing that without any proof.
In order to be a "good guy" you have to be endorsed as a good guy from your audience and the only way to do that is to be honest, be true, lead by example, do what you say and say what you do.
 spelling errors
[Edited 7/12/2008 3:26:51 AM]
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| 7/12/2008 3:29:54 AM | "good guy" problems | |
crow8
Ponca City, OK
age: 35
| FYI here. if you claim too be this and that, and your profile sounds way too good too be true, then yes more then likely you are a fake and not worth a decent gals time or effort,
So remember NEVER say what you can and will do in a relationship, or say that you are a good and decent guy, cause that's bullshit and a lie,
A real man won't say a word, he will just show
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| 7/12/2008 6:28:25 AM | "good guy" problems | |
ret7
Westerville, OH
age: 50
| So often I have heard that come on line that it has virtually lost all meaning.
You can't just "dub" yourself a "good guy" and expect anyone to believe you. To me, when someone says "I'm a good guy", it tells me that they are trying to coerce me into believing that without any proof.
In order to be a "good guy" you have to be endorsed as a good guy from your audience and the only way to do that is to be honest, be true, lead by example, do what you say and say what you do.
spelling errors
Hi George.  Well said.
It is interesting though....other than Evileddy....I don't think I've seen one man post on the forums that he's a "bad guy". Do all guys think they are "good guys"?
The same could be said of women. Do they all think they are "good girls"? There are some women who post very sweetly and I think they really feel they are "good girls"...but if you cross them...the real side of them emerges and you know for a fact they aren't "good girls"...and I pity the man that ever gets involved with them. However...they project themselves on the forums to be wonderful, sweet, loving women (I won't call them ladies...because they are far from it). And..if men aren't careful..they could easily fall into that trap. Then, later....they don't understand why they got dumped by a "good girl"....when in reality...she wasn't a "good girl" at all.
If people are not such "great catches"...do they even recognize or acknowledge that? My guess is...no...they don't even recognize that they're not a great catch. It seems almost like a Jekyl/Hyde complex that they don't see. 
Of course...if they recognize the fact that they aren't a great catch...they either have to do some self-reflection and make changes OR put up a facade that makes them appear to be a great catch until they catch someone.
[Edited 7/12/2008 6:30:50 AM]
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| 7/12/2008 6:33:24 AM | "good guy" problems | |
nab5055
Medford, NJ
age: 44
| I have heard "I am a good guy" so many times!!!! Don't say it, do it! Actions speak louder than words!
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| 7/12/2008 6:36:57 AM | "good guy" problems | |
hiddenbythedark
Danville, VA
age: 25
| The conclusion that i have came to is that women aren't happy if the guy doesn't have any falws that need worked out, then they aren't interested. If there isn't any imperfections that they themselves can't be responsible for helping work out, then they have no need for ya. If you are already at a point where u don't have trust issues, u know how to work and pay your bills, and aren't the insane jealous type then it is like they don't have to mold you and conform you to some ideal they have set in there as what they think they want out of a guy. It's like in a metaphorical sense they are kinda like a guy that loves to restore cars, they don't want some 1 else put all the effort into and now it looks like new. It's not so much that they like the end result just all the effort that it takes to get to that point. IDK maybe just have a diffrent perspective on it and maybe a bit was rambling.
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| 7/12/2008 7:10:07 AM | "good guy" problems | |
ret7
Westerville, OH
age: 50
| The conclusion that i have came to is that women aren't happy if the guy doesn't have any falws that need worked out, then they aren't interested. If there isn't any imperfections that they themselves can't be responsible for helping work out, then they have no need for ya. If you are already at a point where u don't have trust issues, u know how to work and pay your bills, and aren't the insane jealous type then it is like they don't have to mold you and conform you to some ideal they have set in there as what they think they want out of a guy. It's like in a metaphorical sense they are kinda like a guy that loves to restore cars, they don't want some 1 else put all the effort into and now it looks like new. It's not so much that they like the end result just all the effort that it takes to get to that point. IDK maybe just have a diffrent perspective on it and maybe a bit was rambling.
I've learned that you can't change someone. The best advice I've seen is to look for someone who is 80% of what you are looking for in a mate. Then, closely look at the 20% that you aren't crazy about. IF you can accept that 20% without constantly bringing those things up to them (nagging) or trying to change them....then go ahead with the relationship. But if those qualities are really bothersome to you and you feel a need to "change" them....you should end the relationship and not go into a committed relationship with them.
Everyone has flaws...no one is perfect. I want a guy that I am comfortable with...his flaws and all. And I want a guy who is ok with my flaws. When I'm a bit indecisive...I don't want him to go off the deep end...I want him to understand that's a part of me...and he'll come alongside me and gently help me make those decisions. And...although I'm intelligent...yes...I do have a few blonde moments now and then...so he needs to be able to handle that appropriately. A guy I've been talking to lately handles that so well...he just chuckles and says, "You are so beautifully blonde."...and he does it in such a manner....it is not condescending at all.
If people are going into a relationship with the intent to change the other person's flaws...there will be problems in the relationship. But...when the relationship is right...I believe each person will help balance the other in a loving manner (like in my example regarding indecisiveness).
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| 7/12/2008 7:19:31 AM | "good guy" problems | |
ladyeden
Waynesville, MO
age: 48
| Cause if you "finished" first - you wouldn't be a "nice" guy 
Bottom line - no lines, just SHOW us!
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| 7/12/2008 7:27:59 AM | "good guy" problems | |
jrbogie
Red Bluff, CA
age: 59
| there have been a few threads on this topic which basically all came to the same conclusion. nice guys finish last with females because first and foremost, women instinctively look for males who will protect them and their children. it's a characteristic inherant to all species.
regardless of the negative connotations, arrogant, self-confidence signals women that a man is capable of protecting and providing for the family. the nice guy may be pleasant to be around but he does not usually exhibit the potentially violent nature of an egotistical male that once was necessary for survival.
but the gals do seem to want both. although for the most part the good guy finishes last unless she's looking for another girlfriend to hang out with. and who wants to be a girlfriend. oooh oooh oooh.
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